OSCAR Roundup : WORST DRESSED Pt.4

In my final installment on my Oscar Roundup, I'll close off the list with the last lady to land herself in hot water. Like the other 3 ladies on my list, this next person has been damned WORST DRESSED because she should have known better. Surely there were more ghastly dresses on the red-carpet that night - Cameron Diaz's ill-fitting Valentino for one (the origami inspired train fell flat and the dress had fitting issues around her stomach). The difference is that I expect nothing from them. The fact that this year Cameron thought to comb her hair and left the gum chewing at home is enough for me. However the starlets that disgrace my WORST DRESSED list have fashion knowledge and usually make good choices.....usually. How do I know this? They've done so repeatedly in the past. Maybe they were all smoking weed that day. If that's the case, I can't fault the next lady on my list - given her boyfriend of course.

4) Beyonce Knowles.

I don't understand Beyonce sometimes. She's either over-the-top gaudy, or at the other end of the spectrum - dull and boring. I'll admit, there have been a few times when she hits it exactly on the nail (that silver Versace from the 2000 Grammys is the best example), but most times, she totally misses the point. When she was in Destiny's Child, i couldn't fault her that much. She was part of a group and couldn't overshadow Kelly and Michelle. Also, her mom was in charge of her look (yet it's ironic that some of her best looks were during DC3). But now, she's on her own. Free as bird. She can wear what she wants and because of who she is, has the fashion world at her feet. Designers trip over themselves trying to dress her. So what gives?
Beyonce is beyond talented. She can sing, and I mean sing. She writes, produces, dances, arranges....she could run for president if she wanted to. She also very beautiful. Stunning even. But a beauty like her is best appreciated when she keeps her makeup and hair simple. And most importantly, when her dress is also simple, yet still interesting.

As these pics show, when she gets it right, no one can touch Beyonce.




While these are good examples, there would be times when I would catch her in yet another gaudy, overdone contraption of a dress with circus makeup, & I'd scream - Simplify!! Simplify!!

She obviously wasn't listening to me when she decided on her Golden Globes dress. Decked out in an Elie Saab dress that was so revealing and tacky, I didn't know whether to cover her up, or arrest her for 'street-walking.' Why so over-the-top? I propose the following explanation. Beyonce worked very hard on her Dreamgirls role. She lost weight, worked with an acting coach, and (from reading the interview she gave to Elle mag) poured her heart and soul into her role. She sung and danced her heart out. Then along comes Jennifer Hudson. After that, people didn't even realise Beyonce was still in the picture. That must have hurt like be-ach. J-Hud starting getting ALL of the attention. I think the Queen B took a long time to come to grips with fact that the spotlight was not going to shine on her this time. So she tried to steal some attention @ the Globes.

I'm guessing by the time the Oscars rolled around, she finally realised that in life we don't always get what we want, and toned down her look. Good, because Kelly and Michelle have been overshadowed by B for years - and they've handled it with grace. Now she knows what it feels like.

Now enough of my hypothetical ranting. Back to her Oscar gown.

Her pale Green (almost seafoam) Armani Prive gown was beautiful, don't get me wrong. But to me she could have tried harder. The dress draped nicely and the cabochon gem-encrusted detail on the shoulder strap and bodice was a nice touch. But overall, it was boring. With a capital B. As I've said before, this is the Oscars. You're supposed to pull out all the stops and really go for. If Jennifer Hudson was faulted for going too far, B didn't even leave the house. At least she FINALLY followed my advice and kept her hair and makeup simple.

Side note: What's with her obsession with extensions? Her natural hair length suits her much more....besides, we know that everything south of her shoulder blade is fake. So why pretend?

but I digress.

My recommendations? I would have put B in that showstopper of a gown that appeared in John Galliano's Spring/ Summer 2007 Couture show.

Beyonce has the type of personality that automatically commands attention. This dress is perfect. Pure drama. Before you think it's too much, look past the theatrical makeup and origami headdress. Remember that the atelier @ Dior is the best in the world. They can whittle a dress down from over-the-top to just right. I would have swept her up in a 60's bun and kept her makeup slightly on the dramatic side..but above all...kept it all simple.


If the Dior proved too much, this Valentino would have been equally stunning, but in a more subtle way. I'd tighten the fabric at the waist so that it would highlight Beyonce's legendary hips. I'd keep the hair style the same...but less kohling around the eyes. This one screams old world class and sexiness at the same time.

Beyonce has all it takes to become the modern generation's definitive diva..without the attitude. If she can only get her look together.